Elon Musk declares ‘massive’ cyberattack on X, proving he sucks at all his jobs

Turns out, when you spend your days cosplaying as Diet Hitler and your evenings tweeting edgy nonsense to divide the very s funding your little empire, you shouldn’t be surprised when your profits split faster than your fanbase.

Elon Musk announced on Monday that his social media platform, X, was under a “massive” and sustained cyberattack.

“There was (still is) a massive cyberattack against 𝕏. We get attacked every day, but this was done with a lot of resources. Either a large, coordinated group and/or a country is involved.”

The outages, which occurred in three waves throughout the day, left s unable to load the platform, sparking frustration and raising questions about the platform’s stability under Musk’s leadership. Thousands of s were greeted by the ever-helpful error message: “something went wrong, try reloading.”

Let’s be real, X going down isn’t exactly shocking. Since Musk took over, the platform has been in a perpetual state of chaos. Between firing half the workforce and reinstating banned s, it’s no wonder the platform feels like it’s held together with duct tape and a prayer. 

And while Musk is busy blaming mysterious cyber-villains for X’s failures, his other golden child, Tesla, is having a rough time of its own. Over the weekend, protesters took their frustrations offline, January 2025, the company sold just under 10,000 cars — a staggering 45% drop from the same time last year. saw a 63% decline, while , the land of luxury cars, reported a 59% nosedive. In Norway, Tesla’s longtime stronghold, sales plunged by 38%. Poland’s tourism minister even went on record urging citizens to ditch Tesla entirely.

Even SpaceX, Musk’s most successful venture, isn’t immune to setbacks — its latest Starship launch ended in a fiery explosion. For those keeping score, this is the second time his “biggest, most ambitious rocket” has ended its journey as a smoke trail in the sky. While explosions are kind of expected in rocket science, it’s still not a great look.

And yet, Musk’s worst sin isn’t incompetence — it’s who he’s chosen to emulate. Musk now openly licks the same imagined wounds Trump nurses obsessively. Two brain dead peas in a pod indeed, united by ego, both convinced they’re the smartest guys in any room. It’s impressive, how someone so sure of their intellect can propose ideas so catastrophically stupid.

There’s the mass firing of thousands of federal workers, which Musk dresses up as “disruptive innovation,” but in reality, he’s always been good at: creating a spectacle. But spectacles don’t last forever.