‘He’s rarely seen out and about’: ‘Isolated’ Prince Andrew has ‘very little’ in his life 5 years on from Epstein scandal

Beyond that, Andrew maintained his friendship with Epstein even after the financier was jailed for procuring a child for prostitution, credible eyewitness s place him on Epstein’s “pedophile island” Little Saint James, and, of course, there’s the jaw-dropping interview in which he delivered a series of ludicrous excuses and justifications for all this.

The hammer of consequences fell swiftly and powerfully upon Andrew. He was promptly stripped of his HRH title, his royal patronages, and became widely reviled, with the cherry on top being that Queen Elizabeth II had to fork out a huge settlement to prevent her useless, morally repugnant spawn from being dragged into a Manhattan witness box and being made to testify under oath. Let’s face it, if he crumbled under the pressure of a polite BBC interviewer, a New York attorney would make mincemeat of him.

It’s also worth noting that despite *gestures wildly to a mountain of evidence* Andrew has denied any wrongdoing, chalking up the whole situation to an unlikely series of coincidences, conspiracies, and personal vendettas against him. It was even weakly claimed that the photo of him groping Giuffre was fake, created using an “Irish body double.” Ah yes, the ol’ Irish doppelganger routine. Never fails.

Now it’s time to break out the electron microscope, as that’s the only way you’re going to see the violin we’re playing for poor old Andy. As per an documentary Prince Andrew: Where Did All the Money Go?, his current life is “isolated,” leaving him miserably ambling around Windsor’s Royal Lodge without even a single trafficked teenage girl to molest.

Journalist and broadcaster Carol Malone says: “His life is golf and horses and Sarah (Ferguson) and their kids (Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie),” concluding “and thank God he has them because I think he’d have very little else.” PR expert Mark Borkowski agrees that he’s radioactive, saying there is “no way” anyone would seek him out for employment or endorsement, concluding that “I think he just needs to carry on playing golf and driving his cars around the estate and whatever.”

Ah yes, “whatever,” the ultimate ambition of any man of power. By the way, I hope you’re not feeling even the remotest glimmer of sympathy for Andrew right now. As far as punishments go, being stuck in an opulent mansion surrounded by servants and playing golf all day doesn’t exactly feel like karmic retribution. But please, take comfort in the fact that Andrew absolutely despises his humiliating new life and goes to sleep weeping into his silk pillows, certain his servants are spitting into his food.